How To Be Patient When You Are Criticized
Its difficult to stop ourselves from retaliating when we are criticized unjustly or spoken to harshly, isn’t it? We believe if we let them get away with it, they may think we are weak, without a back bone and a doormat. After all if we don't stand up for our selves, then who will?
Well, listen to this- A man reviled Abu Bakr in the presence of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). The Prophet remained seated and kept smiling. He insulted Abu Bakr twice, but Abu Bakr controlled himself and remained silent. He insulted him for a third time, and Abu Bakr then let his tongue loose and responded back. At that, the Messenger of Allah got up and left.
Surprised, Abu Bakr followed after the Prophet and said: “Messenger of Allah! He insulted me and you just sat there. Then when I responded to some of what he said, you became angry and got up.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) explained: “[When you were silent] an angel was defending you on your behalf, but when you [spoke and] took revenge, a devil appeared [instead], and I was not going to sit in the presence of a devil.” ~ (Sunan Abu Dawud and Musnad Ahmad)
SubhanAllah, isn't it reassuring to know that Allah and his obedient angels have got our back? We need never feel alone, dejected or oppressed. On the other hand if we give in to the the demands of our ego, and reciprocate in the same wile manner, we would be lowering our status to that of our attacker.
Of course there is a time for justification and taking actions in our defense, but not every time when someone says or does something contrary to our liking, we have to react in the similar fashion. Instead of reacting in an aggressive or passive way, we can choose to respond assertively.
Also take note, that you cannot bark at the barking dog, in order to make it stop. At times it is best to ignore, in a calm manner. Allah says in Quran,
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمٰنِ الَّذِيْنَ يَمْشُوْنَ عَلَي الْاَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَّاِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجٰهِلُوْنَ قَالُوْا سَلٰمًا
The servants of the Rahman (the All-Merciful, Allah) are those who walk on the earth humbly, and when the ignorant people speak to them, they reply peacefully. (25:63)
So dont give into the desire of Nafs Al Ammara (the lower nafs) which incites us to seek revenge and avoid forgiveness. A better way is to have patience and show restrain, knowing that Allah is with those who show Sabr-patience.
